Things Already Lost
Anthony Anaxagorou
A dead rat could be a dead lung except nobody wants to touch a dead rat without gloves. At the end of the funeral my son asks when will she climb out the box. He learnt to say ‘pigeon’ by asking what the flattened thing was in the driveway. Each morning for a week he’d run to the window waving at its disintegrating wings. Like this he learnt the perils of grapes, to grip banisters & stand still for sun block. In the park he insists we race & like any good father I make my body age. He leaps claiming victory I feign a sadness offering his rapture a little more time. He wants to keep a leaf for a pet I want to warn him about getting attached to things already lost. In the bath he needs to know where water ends when it disappears along with dirt. At the table he folds a napkin into a frail boat pushing it along an edge. We watch a snail work the earth he asks if the trail is a thing it makes or it leaves. Ladybird blood is a firm yellow containing only signal released when danger’s close. He balances a blueberry on a spoon reaching for my hand before crossing when a cyclist is down most of us will stand one of us kneels nobody’s sure where to touch.